The Good Life for Sheila and James

 

"THE GOOD LIFE" (a screenplay)

 

 by c.w. cobblestone

 

 CAST:

 

 SHEILA: Mistress of the household. She's a beautiful, cunning blonde who is quite assured of both her power and her beauty. She doesn't work; all monetary concerns are taken care of by her husband, fred.

 

 JAMES: Sheila's live-in lover. His swarthy good looks hide his true evil nature. He lives rent-free in Sheila's house.

 

 fred: Sheila's overweight husband. fred is a slave to both Sheila and James. fred is an older man who is desperately in love with Sheila. Sheila looks upon her husband/slave with disdain, using and abusing him at every opportunity. fred works 15 hours a day, and pays all the bills for his wife and her lover, while they travel, shop, and play tennis. fred makes a good living, but every penny goes to his keeping his wife and her boyfriend happy.

 

 * * *

 

 SCENE I:

 

 (SETTING: A middle-class home in the suburbs)

 

 (fred is kneeling by the foyer, painstakingly scrubbing the floor. Sheila and James are lounging on the couch, watching television.)

 

 SHEILA (to James): Is it me, or do you smell ammonia?

 

 JAMES: (sniffing the air) I smell it, too. (Turning to the hard-working fred): Hey, asshole! What are you doing? It stinks in here!

 

 fred (nervously): sir, i'm sorry...uh, i'm just cleaning up, sir.

 

 SHEILA: Well, it stinks! How strong did you make that mop water?

 

 fred: i'm sorry, Sheila...i must have made it too strong - i'm sorry if it offended you...i'll get it out of here right now.

 

 SHEILA: Well, what are you tellin' me for? Get it outta here! (turns to James) Can you believe this fucking lardass?

 

 JAMES: (snorts in disgust) Hey, dicknose! While you're up, grab me a soda, and a piece of that cake you made. Is there any left?

 

 fred: yes, sir. I believe there's still some left.

 

 SHEILA: Grab me a piece too - and a glass of milk.

 

 fred: yes, Sheila.

 

 (a moment later, fred reappears holding a tray. He moves carefully over to Sheila's side of the couch, almost tip-toeing. He elegantly places her snack on the coffee table in front of her.)

 

 WHAM! (Suddenly, Sheila's foot kicks out and catches fred right in the balls.)

 

 SHEILA: Move your fat ass! I can't see the TV. (she kicks him in the ass with her bare foot as he hurriedly retreats from Sheila's range). I said, MOVE, lard-ass!

 

 (fred tries to ignore the pain in his balls as he makes his way over to James' side of the couch. Carefully making sure that he isn't blocking James' view of the television, he places James' pop and cake onto the side table.)

 

 JAMES (to fred): Hey, fatass, go get your foot stuff. My poor feet are hurtin' from walkin' in the mall all day!

 

 SHEILA (pouting): Damn it, James, I was just gonna have him do my feet! (She turns to fred) Forget James. Do my feet first!

 

 (fred stands there for a moment, unsure of what to do. Suddenly, without warning, James stands up, rears back, and cuffs fred upside the head, knocking him to the floor with a thud).

 

 JAMES: You heard her, asshole! What the fuck are you waiting for! Go get your foot stuff and do Sheilas feet, you fat piece of shit!

 

 fred (with tears starting to form as he turns to leave): yes, sir. i'm sorry, sir...

 

 (fade to the living room minutes later, where Sheila is lying on the couch with her feet propped up on an expensive ottoman. She is cuddled up to James, who is lazily flipping through the channels with the remote control. fred is kneeling before his wife, vigorously applying lotion to Sheila's foot).

 

 JAMES (watching fred hard at work) I'm jealous, Sheila. I called first dibs on the foot massage.

 

 SHEILA (stretches out lazily). Sorry, lover. You snooze, you lose.

 

 JAMES: (Jokingly) Well, I'm pissed! And guess who has to pay for it, lardass?

 

 (fred says nothing in response, afraid to offer any sort of retort. James regards fred with amusement for a second, then leans up from his reclining position on the couch and slaps fred hard behind the ear).

 

 JAMES (emulating the sound of a bell) Diiiiiiiinnnnng! Want another one, fat ass?

 

 fred: y-yes, sir. Please, may i have another?

 

 JAMES (slowly and dramatically reaching his arm back). Sure thing, freddy...I aims to please! (SLLLLAPP!) Diiiiiingg! Rang his bell twice! Do I get a prize?

 

 SHEILA (in a mocking tone) Awwww. Be nice to the poor thing, James. After all he's doing such a nice job on my toes!

 

 JAMES: That's what's pissing me off! Those should be my toes he's doing such a nice job on! Come here, fag!

 

 (fred shuffles over to James' side of the couch)

 

 JAMES: Are you ready for the big one, tuboflard?

 

 fred (nearly choking on his words): yes, sir.

 

 (James leans back and slaps fred hard across the face. sending him reeling. fred lays with his face in the carpet, sobbing.)

 

 SHEILA: Quit your whining, fag, and get your sorry ass back here on my feet! (She lays down with her head on James' lap, then turns her head to look at her lover). Do you know how horny it makes me to see you abuse my sorry excuse for a husband? Do you know how wet that makes me? Do you have any fucking idea?

 

 JAMES (smiling down at fred as he continues giving Sheila her foot massage) You hear that, freddy? You're actually good for something after all. (Lowers his voice to a near-whisper) Maybe tonight, if you're real good, I can beat the living shit out of you, and you can make Sheila really, REALLY horny.

 

 SHEILA (to fred, in a condescending tone): Just think of it as your small contribution to my sex life, honey. (Sheila leans back and spreads her legs, rubbing her vagina through her blue jean cutoff shorts). Mmmmmmm...I'm getting horny already, darling. Pussy's thirsty for some of daddy's hot milk tonight!

 

 (James moves his hand down to Sheila's crotch; he unbuttons her shorts and slides his hand down her inside).

 

 SHEILA: Mmmmmm...(she looks down at her husband) Now, this is the good life. You just keep working your magic on my feet, honey... (turns to James)...and you keep working your magic on my pussy!

 

 (the lovers passionately begin to kiss, and Sheila reaches out to fondle James' cock through his pants. fred continues his foot massage quietly, earnestly, trying to concentrate on the task at hand, as the smell of Sheila's juices begins to permeate the room. Sheila moves her legs back and forth as her lover finger-fucks her, making it hard for fred to continue his foot massage).

 

 JAMES: Hey, fat ass, you want a treat? (He takes his hand from Sheila's shorts and extends his middle finger with a flourish)

 

 fred (looking longingly at James' finger): y-yes, sir. Please?

 

 JAMES: Sure thing, darling...you've earned it. (holds his finger under fred's nose) Take a whiff. How does your wife's pussy smell, huh?

 

 (fred can't answer, as he almost hyper-ventilates at the smell of Sheila's juices on James' finger)

 

 SHEILA: I think he likes the way your finger smells, honey! (turning to fred) Do you like the way James' finger smells, fred? Why is his finger getting you so worked up? Do you have a finger fetish, fred?

 

 JAMES: That's it! He has a finger fetish! (turning to fred) It wouldn't have anything at all to do with the fact that my finger is coated with your wife's pussy-juice, would it dickface?

 

 fred: y-yes sir. i'm sorry.

 

 JAMES: "Sorry?" What the fuck are you sorry for? I like the way her pussy smells too! You don't have to apologize for enjoying our Sheila's scent of a woman. She's here for us, isn't she? I mean, look at her. (James motions to the reclining Sheila). The most beautiful girl in the world...and she has the most beautiful-smelling pussy in the whole county!

 

 SHEILA: Why, thank you honey. (She kicks fred in the face with her bare foot). Now, enough talk about how my pussy smells. Put your little weiner back in your pants and do the other foot!

 

 (fred quietly resumes his foot massage as Sheila reclines on the sofa with her lover.)

 

 (fade to black)

 

 

 

 SCENE II

 

 (fred is busily shining a pair of men's shoes. In the background, the shower is going; the sounds of James and Sheila's wet lovemaking reverberate off the tiled walls.

 

 After a vocal session in the shower, the sound of running water subsides)

 

 SHEILA: Hey, dicknose! Get us some towels in here, pronto!

 

 (fred puts down James' shoes and rushes to the dryer, where he had earlier warmed up the lovers' towels in anticipation of their shower together. After securing the fluffy, warm towels, he hurries back to the bathroom).

 

 JAMES: What the fuck took you so long? I'm freezin' over here!

 

 SHEILA: I'm tellin' you, he's been beggin' for it lately. (she snatches the warm towel from her husband's outstretched hands.) Is my dress all ready, worm?

 

 fred: Yes, i pressed it real nice for you, Sheila.

 

 SHEILA: Good. Go get me my robe.

 

 (fred scurries off and retrieves the robe).

 

 JAMES (stands behind Sheila and watches her primp in the mirror. He begins to play with her nude breasts from behind.) You are one sexy woman, you know that, baby? (James looks at fred as his image appears in the mirror, carrying Sheila's robe). Hey, fat ass, you sure do have one hot little number for a wife. Mind if I fuck her sometime?

 

 (Sheila and James bust out laughing, and Sheila tweaks fred's nose hard and snatches her robe.)

 

 SHEILA: Oh, fred won't mind, would you honey? (Turns to James) You see, James, I am a total bitch when I'm not getting enough sex. And, since the closest this poor excuse for a worm will ever get to fucking me is in his pathetic wet dreams, I figure it's in his best interests that I get soundly fucked on a regular basis.

 

 JAMES: (suddenly annoyed by fred's presence): Don't you have something to do, asshole? Do you have that much free time to where you can stand around gawking at us?

 

 fred: n-n-n-no, sir...I still have your shoes to shine, and I still have to do Sheila's lingerie and your underwear to do, and -

 

JAMES (cutting fred off) Well, then, get the fuck outta here and go take care of business! Don't tell me about what you've gotta do - Just Do It!

 

 (fred crawls out of the bathroom and enters the adjoining bedroom, resuming his shining of James' shoes.)

 

 (cut to Sheila and James at the front door. fred helps them both with their coats as they ignore him, continuing their conversation)

 

 SHEILA: I can't wait. They say it's the best movie to come out in years.

 

 JAMES: Oh, yeah, the special effects are supposed to be wild!

 

 SHEILA: (to fred) fred, I want you to thoroughly clean out the refrigerator while we're gone. I went in there today; it was nasty!

 

 fred: Yes, Sheila.

 

 JAMES (Holding up his finger): And remember, darlin': when you wash the shit-stains out of my underwear, do it with a song in your heart - but go light on the washin' powder, okay? It makes my ass itch! (Sheila giggles)

 

 fred: (sadly) yes, sir.

 

 SHEILA: (As the couple disappear out the front door) Have fun! We'll be back in a few hours!

 

 (fred sadly closes the front door and watches for a moment as his wife and her boyfriend get into James' car and drive away into the rain. After they've left, he stands in the middle of the living room, his shoulders slumped, deep in thought. After a moment, he slowly walks into the bedroom, and opens the closet door. He winces when he sees that both Sheila and James' hand-wash baskets are full. Muttering to himself, he takes both baskets and carries his load into the laundry room.

 

 He starts with Sheila's clothes. Slowly, reverently, he begins separating the soft lingerie. He spies his favorite: the red teddy. He brings the teddy to his face, inhaling the scent of the cum-stained crotch....

 

 (Cut to fred sitting in his small basement room, looking at the clock. It's 3 a.m. The sound of the door is heard, and Sheila's heels click across the floor above)

 

 SHEILA: Hey, lardass! Where are you hiding?

 

 (fred scurries up the stairs in response to his wife's voice)

 

 fred (entering the living room breathlessly): Yes, Sheila?

 

 SHIELA (pointing behind her): Go get your cleaning stuff - we dragged a little mud in.

 

 (fred looks in horror at the mud-tracks all over the living room carpet - and the hours of hard scrubbing that lay ahead! He collects himself in time and hurries off to fetch his cleaning utensils.

 

 fred returns to the living room. Sheila and James pass him on the way.

 

 SHEILA: We're going to bed, fred, we'll call if we need anything.

 

 (as Sheila and James disappear into the bedroom, fred sinks to his knees and begins his task of vigorously scrubbing the mud-stained carpet. He looks up hopelessly at the clock. It will be at least 5:30 in the morning before this job is completed - and fred has to be at work at 8 am! He sighs, and continues his scrubbing)...

 

 (fade)

 

 SCENE III

 

 (fred walks into the house, looking ragged and tired. James is lying on the couch, watching television. The living room is a disaster area, with beer bottles and crumbs all over the place)

 

 JAMES: Hard day at work, honey? (Takes a swig of beer, then belches) Fred, I would let you sit down for a minute and get some rest - I really would - but look at this place! It's a fucking mess! Do you think you could see it in your heart to clean up a little?

 

 fred: yes, sir.

 

 (fred begins to pick up the beer bottles. Gathering them in his arms, he ambles to the kitchen. After a moment, he returns with a rag and a small garbage can)

 

 fred: Excuse me, sir, could you please move your feet off the table so I can clean it off for you?

 

 JAMES: (moving his feet) Sure thing, tubby. (Looks at his watch) Sheila's over at Donna's house...maybe we can have a little fun, eh turd?

 

 fred (dejectedly as he wipes off the table) yes, sir...whatever you say, sir.

 

 JAMES (begins rubbing his crotch): Would you like to taste Sheila's pussy on my dick, fatass? I just fucked her this morning. Would you like that?

 

 fred: yes, sir - please can i taste her beautiful pussy on your magnificent cock, sir?

 

 JAMES (snapping his fingers) Well, what are we waitin' for? Come and get it, honey!

 

 (fred drops to his knees and begins unbuttoning James' jeans. He pulls out his cock and begins to reverently lick it to hardness. James wiggles back into the cushions of the sofa, getting comfortable, then picks up the remote control and starts flicking through the channels. After a few minutes, James grabs fred's head and begins to fuck his face hard. Tensing, James has his orgasm as he yanks fred's hair up and down, back and forth, riding him unmercilessly. After his orgasm has settled down, James picks up his bottle of beer and downs it. Leaning to the side, he lets out a loud fart. fred tries to hold his breath as he continues softly kissing and licking his master's spent penis.

 

 Suddenly, the front door opens and Sheila walks in)

 

 SHEILA: (in mock disgust) Damn, James, you horny bastard! We just fucked for over an hour this morning!

 

 JAMES: (patting fred on the head) I know, honey...but I just couldn't help it. The lardass seduced me!

 

 SHEILA: (giggling) Well, it's nice to know that the lardass has some kind of sex life! (to fred) I know it ain't much, honey, but since you're nothing but a low-down dirty whore cocksucker, at least try to be the best low-down dirty whore cocksucker you can be, right? Be proud, fred. James tells me you're better at sucking a dick than I am!

 

 JAMES: (grabs fred by his ear and throws him to the floor) Okay, enough, cum-breath. Now, quit slobberin' on my dick, and go fix us something to eat!

 

 SHEILA: What's on the menu tonight, lardass?

 

 fred: i was thinking about making spaghetti tonight, if it's alright.

 

 SHIELA: That's fine. Hurry up, though - I'm hungry.

 

 (fred scurries off to the kitchen to begin cooking)

 

 (Cut to Sheila and James lounging on the couch watching television. fred comes in from the kitchen and cautiously approaches the couple)

 

 fred: excuse me, would you like me to serve dinner here or in the dining room?

 

 JAMES: Here would be fine.

 

 (fred bows to James slightly and rushes off to the kitchen. In a moment, he reappears carrying a full tray. He puts the tray onto Sheila's lap, then retreats and gets another tray from the kitchen, placing it in front of James. Then, fred retreats to the corner of the living room and assumes a kneeling position, his hands folded in front of him, as he awaits further orders)

 

 THE END